Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
