my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
