another moral hangover. fuck.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
