hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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