I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
