oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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