I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
only if we run a train.
done.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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