So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I deserve this hangover.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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