this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
