I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
