Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
