So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Randomize
