This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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