i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
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