I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
