im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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