She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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