I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
