i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
