He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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