I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
