I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
