I murdered the dance floor call the cops
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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