you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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