Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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