anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize