It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
