K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She told me I should be a condom model.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
