I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
