Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
