Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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