grandma shit on top of the toilet
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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