dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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