he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
