I think I died a long time ago.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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