my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
