i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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