Sponge bath it is.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you traded sex for a burrito?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
