He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
