Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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