I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize