i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
How's work?
Spinning.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
