nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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