K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
the liver wants what the liver wants
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize