Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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