my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
