big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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