my mouth tastes like poor choices
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
