i jhust puked up my retainher.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
