i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
