Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
