So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
