I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
