So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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