his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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