She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so let's talk penis.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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