Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
