ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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