I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
