Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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